faith, family, religion

Parents Not Guiding Children Through Faith

Poll after poll shows that Generation Y is not living the faith patterns of previous generations.  Many parents of Generation Y choose not to “force” religion upon their children because of their negative experiences with church or because postmodernity has enabled them to see all truths as equal. It seems that parents are not bringing their children to church on a regular basis, not sharing the family story of religion, and are not making religion a part of their family of creation’s life.

NPR interviewed Asra Nomani, professor of journalism at Georgetown University; Kara Powell, author of Sticky Faith: Everyday Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Your Kids; and Regina Brett, author of God Never BlinksYou can listen to the interview here.

One of the churches that we’ve been working closely with asked 20 kids it they knew how their parents decided to become Christians. And zero of the 20 kids knew how their parents became Christians, knew about that process. And so to me that’s just a wake-up call for all of us, regardless of what religious tradition or creative tradition we are following right now, to simply talk with our kids, ask questions and listen.

Religion and spirituality in America is becoming so individualistic that we are not sharing our faith experiences with our children. Based on Nomani’s book, this is a culture which is quickly losing their family faith connections.  Nomani even reflected personally on her research:

I went back-to-school shopping with my three kids. We tumbled into the minivan for the drive home and I wanted to put on a song that was meaningful to me. So I put on a worship song, a song that talked about how God has changed our lives. And before our research I would have just put the song on and not talked about it at all. But because of our research I put the song on and then I said to my kids, guys, would you like to know why I chose this song and why it’s meaningful to me? And they said, yeah, sure, Mom. So I told them. So I think part of what, regardless of our faith tradition, our opportunity for us as parents is to share, both from our past as well as our present, our spiritual highs and lows.

Somewhere in American family life, parents have come to believe that teaching faith is an injustice because the child has not had a chance to make a decision.  Parents teach all types of things to their children in which their child has no choice. Ethics, morality, table manners, family vacations, educational priories, when they can date, what friends they can hang out with, what they can eat, what they can watch, and what music or video is deemed appropriate. The family table is full of guiding principles.

Why is religion not on that family table too?

Comments

3 Comments

  • Reply Ann Kroeker September 1, 2011 at 9:48 pm

    I missed that interview–thanks for the link and summarizing some important quotes. Talk about our faith. It’s such practical advice, similar to what Deuteronomy 6:7 (or 11:19) says. Perhaps, too, our schedules are so tight that we’re always planning for the next thing instead of sitting down for a second to think about how we might interact with our kids about something other than logistics.

    These are such important warnings, Alan. Thanks for the article.

  • Reply totanaca September 5, 2011 at 11:58 am

    There is a huge difference between teaching a child and indoctrinating a child. These concepts must be kept separate. When you teach a child you encourage questions and discussion. While if you indoctrinate you insist there be no objections and no questions. That is why indoctrination is unethical. Parents are perfectly free to explain their own religious convictions. They are not ethically free to force them on their children.

    • Reply Alan Rudnick September 5, 2011 at 12:57 pm

      Why is indoctrination unethical? We indoctrinate children into all sorts of things: right from wrong, family values, respect for grandparents, and more. Teaching belief systems of morality are no different than teaching belief systems of religion. People have been “indoctrinating” their religion to their children for thousands of years. Why is it wrong now? However, teaching cultural superiority of religion goes against the concepts of Christ’s teaching.

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